My name is Alex. I’ve been reading your blogs for several years. They bring me peace, knowing I’m not going crazy. I assume you receive a lot of these messages, so I’ll keep this short.
I believe in the Ascension Process wholeheartedly and can see how it has worked and is working through my life. I can feel myself moving away from a state of “doing” to a state of “being”. The problem with this is that the more the process goes on, the more I feel any and all motivation slipping away and the less I feel like doing anything. Even the things that for many years brought me great joy–writing stories, quilting, creating–now seem backed up by only the tiniest and most fleeting waves of energy, to the point where soon after starting I can’t even force myself to work on projects I would have once dove into with a joyful heart.
I apologize if this comes across as negative or defeatist, and I understand perfectly and lovingly if you don’t respond, but I’m wondering if you have any insight to share on the matter. “Being” is a beautiful and peaceful state I’ve come to treasure and enjoy, but it doesn’t pay the bills, if you know what I mean. Do you think this lack of creativity is part of the new norm, or more like we’re being put in a temporary holding pattern until a new and different phase begins?
Many thanks for the work you do, and for taking the time to read this.“
This was a recent email I received from Alex who has generously allowed me to quote her/his letter here for us all. Thank you Alex. ♥
For the last ten years I’ve lived this intensely as I know many of you have. It’s part of the Ascension Process, but man-oh-man are some aspects of it hard on our old ego selves! It’s not always easy or fun having to let go of past loves and old favorites such as certain relationships, people, family, friends, foods, drinks, activities, things to do and create and build, occupations, careers, stores to shop at, vacations and vacation locations and hundreds of other such related things.
In so many ways those of us living the Ascension Process have been much like humans who’ve died and left their physical bodies but still linger aspects of their old selves in their favorite old places or homes etc. Ghosts in other words, and in some ways we living physical humans have behaved like some human “ghosts” do with things and places they once loved and were very attached to and don’t want to let go of.
When my bodies and I entered the intense physical phase of the Ascension Process, most of my old favorite things, doings, actions, projects, relationships, careers, foods and such all had to go. Not because they were “bad” or anything, but because the Ascension Process is in so many ways a living dying/death process and while going through it, one simple cannot eat, do, create, socialize, work, build etc. like one did before entering this transformation Process. You might as well stop mourning the loss of all those old lower frequency, much-loved things, foods, activities, locations, events, doings and people you can’t play with, work with, interact with, co-create with, eat certain foods and celebrate holidays with, “party” with, vacation with or whatever the case may be for you at this point.
When one is living this transformational dying/death Ascension Process, all things of the old lower frequencies, world, consciousness, beliefs, emotions and mentality become toxic and/or repulsive to you. What once was your absolute favorite things and activities, foods and drinks etc., now make you sick, causes you physical, emotional, mental and psychic pain, isolated and oftentimes deeply saddened or depressed. This Ascension Process forces most living it into Hermitude just to survive what all is happening to you body and soul, but it also forces you to repeatedly, year after year, let go of all the old lower frequency things as well. Those things were a vibrational match for the old lower frequency levels and consciousness; they are most certainly not a vibration match to higher frequency levels and consciousness and so, plenty of repeated releasing must happen within each person living this Process.
Once one is in that space, that stage of having to let go of all they must to continue evolving, they also eventually encounter the stage I’ll call — I just don’t give a good goddamn anymore!
At first this stage of the Ascension Process might seem like there’s something negative or wrong because you’re so debilitated, so exhausted, so sick, so mentally fried and incompetent, so emotionally disheveled and unbalanced that you have to retreat into Hermitude isolation for your own survival, plus to continue the Ascension Process. But, after a while, you naturally reach another level within the Process where you and your old 3D ego self and old beliefs and attitudes etc. must be transformed and released. This is often most quickly accomplished by us reaching that point where we simply no longer care about much of anything or anyone including ourselves and our old lower frequency ego self. This my friends is normal and necessary when moving through these different layers and stages in the Ascension Process. It too shall pass so just let go of whatever it is that’s required of you now and don’t care about the old 3D patriarchal world of constant “doings” and float onward and upward to the next stage and Stair-step within the Process. And, by the way, very well done you!
Point is that most of us need to emotionally and psychologically reach this point of no longer “caring” about whether we’re physically producing anything of any partiarchal “value”–monetary or otherwise–or ‘earning our keep’, making money, paying our way, ‘carrying our brothers’, ignoring ourselves to care for others etc. Once we reach this stage within the Ascension Process it becomes much easier and faster to emotionally disconnect from those old, lower frequency Collective Consciousness belief systems and start becoming truly empowered individually once again. But, to get there means we’ve got to reach that stage of no longer “caring” about what the old lower frequency/consciousness patriarchal world demanded we believe was absolute truth, valuable, necessary and important.
Reaching that very important level within the Ascension Process means one has de-polarized and transmuted past suppressed issues, emotions, projections, beliefs, wounds, fears, hates, karma etc. back into higher frequencies of Neutrality and “unity”; has emptied-out enough of these old lower emotions/issues/stuck energies so that the NEW higher frequencies and consciousness has a place to and can start taking up residency within you and your body/bodies and evolving, expanding consciousness. Aah… the payoff finally begins to all that long and lonely, isolating, difficult, brutal, painful, confusing, toxic transmuting Inner Work!
Being an astrologer for decades–plus having me/my birthday and ASC on cusps–it’s easy for me to grasp the concept of cusps and the profound and usually chaotic and volatile transitional stages of Shifting from one zodiacal sign to another, one astrological Age to another, one dimension to another and so on. When one is close to a cusp, one is being affected by two very different energy constructs and influences at the same time… not to mention the Collective’s confusion, chaos, resistance to change and so on too. All of humanity is living this throughout their entire lifetimes in these incarnations.
There are all sorts of “cusps” if you will within the Ascension Process and this one about feeling unmotivated, uninterested, uninspired, not relating to the old ways, beliefs, systems, “doings” and activities is a huge and important aspect of this. It’s a level and phase where our old lower frequency ego/self/consciousness/beliefs/habits/favorites etc. are so deconstructed by the trans-formative Ascension Process, that what’s left of us at that point is the bare-bones soul parts minus all the old lower frequency delusions, karma, BS, beliefs, emotions, unresolved issues, projections, distortions, influences and such. In other words, we transition that invisible energetic “cusp” of the old lower and evolve or “ascend” to the Other Side, the higher dimension, the New Age, the overall NEW. To accomplish this mighty, might task, it’s much easier for us to first reach a point of no longer “caring” about any of those old lower things and issues and just let go of them which frees us up to begin embodying, housing more of our Higher Selves in these bodies in this NEW now place and time.
I too have had to work my way through the different phases and levels of not caring about anything anymore and finally get myself back to even being able to continue writing about this Ascension Process! Those periods when I go quiet for longer than usual are sometimes periods when I’m so removed that I have zero interest in writing anything ever again. I’m always shocked when I encounter this feeling in myself but have done so enough times over the past 3.5 years to know that it’s temporary and transitional and I’ll be back in the writers saddle again the second I’m done with the latest integrations… whatever they are.
So, don’t beat yourself up when you feel utterly unmotivated and uninterested in participating in ANY of the old lower frequency social games and other related lower “normal” activities the sleepers still believe are the end-all. Just continue through what you’re experiencing at the time and do your best to NOT apply any of those old lower beliefs on to yourself now. After 2,100-plus years of Team Dark lies and cons it’s not easy to drop those old ingrained Collective beliefs overnight. See why Team Dark told humanity the lies they have? They all were designed to keep humanity unaware, weak, unstable, irresponsible, unempowered and dependent upon others to define reality for them. The Ascension Process is the complete opposite of all that of course.
In my book The Temple of Master Hotei: A Unique Past Life Memory, Master Hotei teaches his student Ivory One about being fully active while inactive — and fully inactive while active. It’s about action/reception, male/female, positive/negative charges etc. of Duality reality, but how those two energies are reversed (and eventually integrated) when worked with at the next higher level and the next and the next etc. In other words, think about how much you “do” and build, envision and create while in a still meditative state of profound “not doing”.
Now think about how mentally and emotionally blank, void and blissed-out you can become within intense, highly focused “doings” such as creating or building something physical. While so profoundly focused on “doing” something, you can “ascend” right out into a higher quantum, no-time altered bliss state of “being” and you achieved that by highly focused physical “doing”. The Yin in the Yang, the Yang in the Yin and so on until one integrated them back and forth to such a degree that what was fractured into two is transmuted back into a higher frequency state of unified Neutrality instead of separated Duality. You are doing this and more, and this is being done to you and more. Soon you will be Neutral and unified and know it and on the Other Side of these many Stair-step cusps.
March 7, 2014
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