2014 Recap: Oh Gawd, Do We Have To?

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The Multiple Personal Revelations, Breakthroughs & Diverse Difficulties of 2014

That 2014 image above should have multiple pathways of numerous bloody footprints leading across it. Good-freaking-lord-almighty what a year this one has been! This is one reason why we’re sometimes intentionally left out of the Higher Awareness Loop; because we’d run screaming and crying in the opposite direction if we had conscious knowledge about what was coming that we HAD to go through, HAD to learn from, HAD to be changed, transformed by. :-/

The other night I was thinking about January 2014 and how it started right off on New Year’s Day with big blast of ‘Get ready for a lot of changes this year’ sort of feel. And as is usually the case when we sense these types of approaching epic-sized changes, challenges, transformations etc. coming directly at us, we often misinterpret what we’re sensing and think it means something other than what it actually turns out to be. This I did too many times in January and February 2014, but by the end of February I’d figured out that 2014 was unfolding very differently from previous years, and because of this, I needed to be ready for anything. However, even knowing this much at the start of 2014 I was still not remotely ready for what all actually played-out physically month after month throughout 2014 in my personal life. I know there are many of you who can relate to just how epic 2014 really was. I see your bloody footprints, soul-prints in the 2014 image right next to mine. Tough soles build tougher, greater souls and all that.

One of the main things that happened repeatedly throughout 2014 were those amazing but painful, frustrating, hair-pulling, eye-rolling, heartbreaking, crying your soul clean, stunned stupid, contemplating doing prison time for murder, OMFG revelatory moments of vastly deeper personal insights into family members, into one’s self, different people and strangers and into certain personal and global situations in 2014. For me these many sudden 2014 Uraninan insights happened primarily with family members—Mom, Dad, Sister, Son— myself, and also my rapidly disintegrating lifelong blueprints and/or “karma” and over half a 26,000 yearlong Precessional cycle’s worth of working relationships with them as they’ve been up to this current Shift Point within the Ascension Process post 2012. They’ve also happened this year with a steady stream of strangers parading through my life, and all of November my house too! 😡 Those people were and still are mostly due to my Mom’s bypass/stroke and were/are doctors, nurses, pharmacists, social workers, legal advisers, realtors etc. Most but not all the old patriarchal Systems; the ever-ravenous disease death and dying “Medical Machine”, and its toxic deranged twin brother and partner in crimes against humanity, Big Pharma. Almost all the negative Team Dark systems I’ve disliked, disrespected, distrusted and been a “System Buster” against since birth. (See and feel the Neptune and Chiron transiting Pisces energies?)

Knowing more, Seeing more, understanding more hurts and usually leaves bruises and sore achy spots on one’s body and soul for awhile. Many times during 2014 I’ve wished I had a full-body Copper Compression Body n’ Soul Suit for all of these emotional, mental, physical, financial and spiritual bruises and aches! 😉 Again, I know many of you reading this can more than relate.

Throughout 2014 I had repeated sudden deep insights or revelations into my few biological family members, myself, many strangers, and many personal and worldwide situations. For years I’ve often wondered how in the world one would cope with sudden expanding consciousness—aka much larger chunks of HighHeart 5D Consciousness—while still having to function in a world that’s not at that same level of awareness and being yet? Well, 2014 has shown many of us the answer to that spiritual question in very in your face and heart sorts of ways. My Higher Self is a part-time Standup Comic so off and on all year I’ve heard that old 1966 song called Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do suddenly playing in my head, except, I’ve heard it sung all year as Waking up is hard to do. Yeah yeah, just freakin’ hilarious. I get it and appreciate your attempts to help me through this difficult phase with tongue-in-spiritual-cheek laughter oh great Higher Self. 😐 [If for nothing more than a good laugh, see the 1966 YouTube video of this song below my article so you’re in on the joke too if you’re young and don’t know it.]

Remember I’d mentioned in another article that we’d soon be receiving a December 2014 ‘Gift’, but that we’d most likely not think or feel that it was a “gift” at all while getting it? Well, this is it and don’t we all understand now why it doesn’t exactly feel like a “gift” but like another 2014 kick to the solar plexus or anywhere south of that! Having more of our old lower coal transmuted into crystal-clear diamond also has hurt and been difficult this year but there ya go, and who cares anyway right? It just is what it is and we couldn’t wait to be here to do it!

I also wrote about what I’d perceived at that time to be called The 12 Labors, indicating that every day/degree of 2014 was us moving through another degree of one of the 12 Labors (old mythic symbolism about the “12 Labors of Hercules” which represented a soul incarnating into or working its way through each zodiacal sign—0°Aries thru 30°Pisces—life after life etc. We’ve been living this Process in a NEW and very different way every day/degree throughout all of 2014. Lisa Renee has talked about this in her way this year referring to it as an Alchemical Astrological process.

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I wanted to write about some of this in September, October and November 2014, but I was so profoundly swamped, overwhelmed, sleep deprived and utterly exhausted by all the changes happening due to my Mom’s health crisis and my suddenly being unemployed because she was in the hospital and then nursing rehab home until November 1st when they discharged her. Once I brought her home on 11-1-14 the full reality of her stroke and the body and brain/mind damage it’s caused her became my 24/7 reality and I’m still reeling under it all. When she poops now, (how was that for a transition! ) it’s a damned milestone like no other because doing so has become nearly impossible for her. And then there’s the doctors, the “professionals”. I absolutely must share this one doctor story with you because it’s unbelievable for one thing, plus it’s just way too good to keep to myself.

I’ve learned the hard and messy way that it’s not uncommon for stroke survivors to have a wide variety of side effects from their stroke, one of which is chronic constipation due to the nerves being all jumbled up. To solve this continual problem Mom’s had I was having to resort to giving her one or two laxatives once a week just to help her move her bowels. This has been the situation since September when she had the stroke and was a weekly event during the two months she was in the nursing rehab home. It’s continued here at home with me and my having to mop up after every weekly diarrhea storm.

Where was I…? Oh yeah, a few weeks ago Mom’s primary physician referred us to ‘the top Cardiologist in the valley’  to check the condition of her heart/triple bypass etc. So there the four of us are in his exam room—Mom, me, the Cardiologist and one of his nurses—and I’m trying to get him to understand how severe the situation is with her constant constipation and how I have to resort to using laxatives once a week as poop dynamite and that I’m beyond sick and tired of cleaning up diarrhea everywhere… and I mean everywhere. This is exactly what ‘the top Cardiologist in the valley’ said to me in response to all this. And I quote:

“Well has anyone put a finger up her butt to see if it’s Cancer?”

😯 I kid you not, that is word for word what this sixty-something year-old Cardiologist said about my Mom having chronic constipation due to the stroke. This is another of those moments when I contemplate if I could actually do prison time for murder… See what I mean? Can you believe it? That one was just way too good to keep to myself, I had to share it with all of you. I have plenty more of that from other “professionals” lately but I think you get the overall demented drift. And to think that I HAVE to buy Health Insurance soon so I too can go to one of these “professional” doctors to look for something I don’t have while they don’t treat me for what I do have while they try to pump me full of toxic chemicals and refer me to other “professionals” to endlessly feed the Medical Machine. How much is the tax fine for not buying Health Insurance for the second year? (I already know cause I checked!)

Move Among the Masses & Radiate Your NEW LightLove Forerunners/Wayshowers

After all that stroke poop talk lets get to some of the whys of all this misery, chaos and general BS insanity of the dying old in 2014. During my every other day spent at the nursing rehab home throughout September and October, I repeatedly saw and felt how I was impacting those strangers there, and of course how my going into that low frequency pit of misery called a “nursing home” effected me. After about two hours in the nursing rehab home (2 to 2.5 hours was all I could take every other day) I’d HAVE to leave and go home to recuperate and try to nap for as long as I could. The density, misery and all-around negativity of the nursing home was so great that after two hours in there visiting with Mom, it was all I could do to physically walk from her room out of the huge building and reach my car outside. Seriously, I could hardly walk after time spent in there because it was so profoundly dense, negative and just insane in there (was frighteningly comparable to many old low-level 4D Astral places I’ve been to throughout my life) and it registered as external crushing pressure on my physical body to the degree it was very painful and difficult for me to just stand up straight and walk out of the building. After a few minutes outside I’d start to feel a little better, but it’d still take me hours or a couple of days sometimes to recover from having gone into such a lowly place for so long. The other place that’s effected me in exactly the same way over the past ten years is going into the bank.

My going into the nursing rehab home kicked my butt 95% of the time. However, some days in September and October it didn’t and I was astonished to feel like a pain-free, Light emanating giant walking on air when physically walking into and out of the horrid, dense place. I felt/feel/am huge, massive, tall, wide, strong, powerful and radiant with higher Light. I knew great changes where taking place with my/your/our bodies and Selves during the 2014 fall quarter despite all I was personally going through then. The flip side of this however was the days when I felt (still do feel) utterly beat to hell, exhausted beyond exhausted, depressed by all the insanity and BS, frustrated by the continual need for money to simply survive each month, enraged at the asinine liers and idiots of all ages in any position of control and power over others, and the seeming slowness of the Ascension Process in general. (I can barely get that last sentence out because I know that the Ascension Process is actually happening super fast. The great drag you and I feel comes from the masses, the Collective, making all this seem like it’s happening much slower than it really is.) All in all, great progress is being made by each of us even when it doesn’t seem, feel or look like it from our current perspectives.

Another big aspect of this 2014 amplification and change is that I’ve realized we’re now being directed to, pushed even into walking into and through the masses and effecting, infecting, infiltrating them with our higher NEW Light and growing ability to embody more Divine Love Energy.  We don’t necessarily need to say anything, just walk or stand in line and radiate the NEW Light that we’ve worked so long and hard to embody and anchor into this world and dimension through our physical bodies and selves. Our doing this now is literally altering the energetic frequency and consciousness of those strangers that come near our Light energy or radiation fields. We’re also literally altering places, buildings, structures etc. that we physically go into in the same ways. Remember how we Forerunners/Wayshowers/Lightworkers etc. were needed to physically live in certain land areas during the early years or Phase One of the Ascension Process? Well the same thing is happening again now but we individually are the Light, the Energy, so wherever we go we spread it and influence more and more of the as yet unawakened folks.

I’ve always had this thing about wanting to be in the privacy of my own home when I go through any spiritual/energetic/psychic growth or lesson or tests etc. That’s what I’ve preferred, but not what I’ve always gotten of course. Sometimes our spiritual and energetic Ascension Process Initiations need to take place in very public places and ways because they literally alter the people, the strangers in and around the space we’re in at the time it happens. They are in different ways effected by what I go through, by what you go through via these spiritual energetic changes and other Ascension related Processes. I’ve been living this throughout 2014 with different strangers — realtors, doctors, nurses, therapists, health insurance people, phone conversations, clerks, bank tellers and so on. I can feel how the NEW in me is directly impacting them, either making them feel something they naturally like, or, something they instantly hate and disrespect. This will increase again throughout 2015, so be prepared for dual reactions to your increasing embodiment and expanding radiant field of Light Love Higher Self etc.

There was of course much more that unfolded throughout 2014, but at this point I think we’re all realizing how much we’ve changed individually in just this one year alone… which is a strong indicator of how much more we’ll change throughout 2015! Thanks so very much to everyone for your well-wishes, your thoughts and concerns, your blessed and much needed helpful donations, and your HighHearts and great loving support during these difficult times in 2014. I’ve felt you all and you’ve kept me sane and out of prison. Thought you all needed to know that. 😀 Hugs of great Love and Gratitude.

Denise

December 29, 2014

Donations can be made here and Thank You for the energy exchange.

Comments are open.

heartcopyright Copyright © Denise LeFay & HighHeartLife, 2014. Use or duplication of this material is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

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33 thoughts on “2014 Recap: Oh Gawd, Do We Have To?

  • Hi Denise – Thanks for this article. 2014 was a very challenging year for me due to my intense Ascension symptoms. I was practically incapacitated by them until July, then felt better for a few months. My symptoms returned in December, and they have been making things very challenging since then. After I started improving in July I thought I was done with my Ascension symptoms, but that was not the case.

    I can definitely relate to what you and several other people shared in this and other articles. I’m getting sick and tired of these unrelenting Ascension symptoms and how debilitating they are. Thanks for all the work you do to write articles and maintain your blogs. I appreciate that a lot.

    Tom

  • Dear Denise,
    Thank you for sharing. I have had a ridiculously difficult year in 2014 also…. My dearest sister suffered through the butchery of the medical cartel with surgery, radiation, chemo. We had to watch her go through all the effects and were amazed at how positive she was throughout. The night she died, we were all gathered at the hospital, was the worst of my life. The pain was unlike anything I have ever experienced and the following 12 months have been excruciating, to say the least. The pain is/was palpable.
    I have been still suffering pains, which come and go, and am adamant about not using allopathic means to treat myself. I have found it difficult to meditate, as my mind races and my heart is saddened so much so that I sometimes feel I am losing it!
    I do, however, feel a sense of calm that is new for me. I feel strong, brave and determined. Not always sure what I am determined about, but it feels good! lol
    I feel this year will be filled with many miracles, both large and small. Magic is strong now and I am seeing the effects of my thoughts on physical matter. We are powerful!
    It’s so good and calming to read your words and everyone’s words here. I look forward to it all! Love and all the best to you and yours and to all who share these pages. xo

    • onespiritconsiousness,

      It’s calming to read YOUR words here dearest. ❤

      Many have been through so, so, much recently, and I too have had a really hard time getting back into and remaining in my HighHeart while so much misery is a constant in my life and self lately… but, that's been something I've needed to experience and be "tested" by. Potent, empowered people cannot go into higher realms/dimensions where thought and emotions create realities unless they're fully and completely able to maintain and direct their own energies first! These Cardinal squares/T-squares/grand squares and oppositions unfolding since 2011 have had much to do in getting us to that point individually and collectively. We've got 2015 to traverse and complete this phase with and it will be much easier than what we've been through for these many years.

      Heart Hugs of Peace and Empowerment to you and yours,
      Denise

  • Denise, you probably know already but just in case: the state of California has a family caregiver program which pays a salary to a person who is taking care of someone close to them.

  • I’m still too tired to “comment long” on this post, and oh the tiredness permeates! But at last I wanted to say I hope 2015 is more full of some of the promises that 2014 showed glimmers of amongst the shit (oh you poor dear Denise, and your mother too!).

    So many good comments here. Good and loving voices. Does my heart good!! 🙂

    May 2015 show a true turning point for all of us who’ve been bearing the heavy burdens of this process in service. ❤️❤️❤️

    Calliope/Karin

  • 2014 certainly has bught some major shifts in both the inner and outer reality for me too. I feel for you in your current difficulties and send your love and light. Since my daughter and her autistic son came to live with me in October I have been going through some really difficult experiences too – i read somewhere that learning to operate effectively in 3D is part of the ascension process – my grandson tests me on a daily basis with that one 🙂
    Here’s a link to my visual look back at 2014 for although it’s been hard it’s also been illuminating. http://artifactsandfictions.com/2014/12/30/2014-a-personal-view/

    All the best to you – you are an inspiration 🙂

    • Suzanne,

      Your artwork and words are beautiful and moving. I really liked the tattered prayer flags one — just beautiful.

      ‘…my grandson tests me on a daily basis with that one…’

      I can relate. I find it interesting how we’re being tested under some pretty severe conditions to see how well we do or don’t maintain HighHeartLife. 😐 I’ve failed miserably at times and breezed through at other times but I’m certain the end goal is to maintain the NEW higher state full-time. I may be wrong however… 😆

      ❤ Hugs,
      Denise

      • I’m so glad you got something out of my art and I agree with you totally about what these testing times are all about.. Learning how to stay in higher awareness when living under difficult conditions does feel like the deeper meaning of these experiences. Who knows if we are right or wrong on that but as you and others have said – feelings are to be our guide at this time. 🙂 Love to you and your mum – Suzanne

  • Hi, Denise,

    Well, I’m going to talk about some of the other issues in your blog post as I think you’ve got the poop issue covered!

    2014 was murder for me as well, being sick for pretty much all of it, being unable to function whatsoever in May and sleeping for most of the last four months! In December, I have felt some of that lift and I feel that 2015 will be lighter and happier than things have been in 2014.

    I’ve been very aware since 2010 of living in certain areas that needed some light– a city in Asia I lived in for a time, this oil patch city of Edmonton, Alberta and all the craziness and unchecked male aggression and exuberance that comes with that, and even the houses I’ve lived in that needed some light. Beautiful old heritage buildings that were being desecrated by the people within them. I can say that I’ve felt the change in these cities and places while I was in them, sometimes working very hard to bring light to them. Now that two very nasty princesses have moved out of my current building, it feels happy and neighborly (which is how I like it), but now some very aggressive guys have moved in next door. Ah, it never ends, this work.

    Also, I’ve been aware for several years (almost three, I’d say) that it’s part of my job to go out into the world and smile and chat with people and I’ve also been feeling the effects of that as well. This city feels friendlier and happier than when I first moved here. Yes, on the surface, there are still an inordinate number of hyped up motorcycles and yelling and race cars in a city with winter half the year, but there is a counter culture here of people who care and are positive and with healing energy. It’s a strange place that way– such opposites living in close proximity. When I first moved here, I would smile and make a comment to people and be completely ignored, but now people engage and I sometimes have long conversations with strangers, get smiles from nowhere on the street, and the atmosphere is a lot more positive. There is a group I’m in here with a lot of international students who are lonely and far from home and I always make sure to engage them and ask them where they’re from, what they’re studying, to show an interest. It makes for a very happy group and I’m older and nurturing and I think that helps too. So, anyway, Denise, I have been consciously doing this for 2-3 years and I will continue to do so. It actually is one of our happier jobs in this process.

    Love and Hugs,
    Cat

  • I would love to have a current update on new or continuing Ascension symptoms!
    Love you & your articles.
    I am wishing you nothing but happiness and peace, with the poop in the pot!
    Bless your heart. God bless your mother.

    • ‘…I would love to have a current update on new or continuing Ascension symptoms!’

      pupma,

      I’ll work on an updated list as soon as I can. I’ve felt all sorts of new, different Ascension related symptoms in 2014 but I’ve hesitated writing about them yet only because of the ongoing upheaval that’s been my life this year. I know some of it is just me and how I’ve been dealing with the pressures and responsibilities etc. of my Mom’s changes. If I get enough sleep each night (translated that means at least three hours), then I can cope better with the craziness and demands coming at me almost constantly. Not enough sleep and I quickly become someone that even I don’t like!

      But there are changes and bigger changes as to how we’re effected by both negative and positive energies/people/events etc. The more Light we embody the less easy it is to tolerate any lower frequency stuff – other people’s or our own!

      Hugs,
      Denise

  • Thanks so much for posting this Denise. Its so nice to know someone else understands how I feel. I’ve had experience also with a nursing home for my mom when she was in rehab for a while. I too would leave feeling so UNBELIEVABLY drained and my vibration feeling so low. The denseness of the energy there was so hard to take. I couldn’t stay long either. I’ve intrinsically felt that certain people in my life can’t handle my light, its so great that you articulated it. I’ve felt their hostility, while being such an extreme empath is very painful. But a part of me has always known my light is too much for them. You articulated this very well, I appreciate it.

  • Excellent post, Denise, with a much-needed laugh and also gratitude for my own personal learning experiences! Just to add a quick tip to Romy’s advice from above: magnesium oxide or magnesium citrate, two capsules two to three times a day, will help your mom’s uncomfortable condition without the resultant shit storm. You both can benefit greatly from this. 🙂

    Eliminating grains from one’s diet can assist tremendously with stopping and reversing dementia. Read “Grain Brain” by Dr. David Perlmutter for in-depth information. Yeah, I know he’s a *doctor* but he’s definitely one of the good guys.

    Sending you blessings and good fortune.

  • Good to see you post a flabbergasting long story again, Denise. I was already getting worried about the long silence LOL
    Pfff indeed very good that we didn’t get all insights as to what we would be experiencing in 2014. I often noticed that somehow despite my strong intuition I interpret my astrological transits more positively beforehand and later on when I’m fully in it I can see my misinterpretation & neglecting some important negative impacts. As if somehow my soul is protecting me at first to stay positive.
    Also last year I thought the December month couldn’t get any worse , dragging myself through the dark month, Christmas festivities and surviving fireworks at 31st night. (I’m thinking that already for 5 years on now or so…) But I was wrong! It could get even tougher, pfff with even worse weather (grey stormy days in NL) and heavy electricity running through my body, giving pains, tiredness and a constantly overstimulated nervous system. I’m struggling here, like most of you.

    But we’re past the shortest day and all signs and info coming in from different sources do tell us that 2015 will be lighter & calmer, bringing us back to balance and to experiencing joy (anyone know what that felt like… uhh). It will be a manifestation year to start creating and living our dreams.
    Let’s toast to that hopeful message tomorrow and I wish you Denise and everyone connected in cyberspace a lot of light=love=peace=happiness in 2015!

    Cheers,
    Annemiek

  • Dear Denise
    Being a nurse for the last 24 years has definitely taken its toll on me, but I have never been able to express it as well as you did in this article. Health care sucks these days, and it’s not the profession I entered- I can tell you that.
    That being said, I would like to offer some advice with your shit-storms😎
    Try to incorporate DAILY some Metamucil or even better – Miralax into your moms routine …
    You can also find ideas under “bowel regimens” for paraplegics and other similar nerve disabling conditions.
    Hope that helps.

  • This is on the topic of poop for your Mom as everything else seems to be on Higher Self autopilot. Trusting in the process is all Ive got.
    Coconut milk every night (to lubricate) with organic whole wheat “shredded wheat” (for fiber). Then Milk of Magnesia twice weekly (to add fluid to stool) softening which is a less explosive laxative. Coffee or black tea each morning (to stimulate bowel) with breakfast. I learned these things as a hospice nurse and hope might they address some of the varied reasons for constipation. Good luck. Poop happens. Cay

  • Denise, totally on target. I’ve had some intense, roller coaster years, but this one takes the cake. This year is ending entirely different from where it started, pushing me in a different direction than I EVER expected to take. It also has ended my life as I know it and have worked for so hard. It also has ended in an experience of enormous and unexpected pain. Yes, ascension has proceeded in all ways at a ridiculously fast pace. Just wish it didn’t have to “feel” so bad, but we humans are pretty resistant to change, so I guess this has to be the way for the more recalcitrant among us. 🙂 Many blessings and love to all in the new year.

  • Dearest Denise, you have a way of painting with words, and I just imagined and felt your ongoing situations as I read through this update – identifying with some of the issues you have repeatedly come up against whilst ‘walking in the madness’ of the remaining 3D energies. Your sense of humour is brilliant, we would definitely get along well. I was originally at the back of the queue when they were distributing humour to the humans arriving on this planet 😳 – but that all changed in 2001 as I dropped down the Ass-ention hole into a living nightmare of sorts (dragging myself up the stair step levels). First there was the severe physical illness / depression, then came the anger, then the sarcasm and wit, then from out of the incessant drabness came humour and laughter – I laughed at my situation, I laughed at other people’s reaction and responses to me (pure unadulterated lack of compassion and care in most cases) and then of course I cried as well, I’ve cried a lot over these many painful years, but the humour remains my one faithful companion (yes, all the others left ! 😆).

    I now refer to myself as ‘the slippers on the ground’ ( the ‘boots’ being worn out long ago).

    There appears to be an ‘Army’ of Light Bearers scattered across this globe, steadily making their way through the sh– , swearing, laughing, and occasionally dancing into the higher vibrations, ………. keep going ……… keep laughing ………. and maybe we will finally get to dance together 💞

    Love’n hugs

  • Hi, A suggestion that might help with your Mom’s issue is a little magnesium at night, Calm is a great product. I get my version from vitacost.com, very affordable: http://www.vitacost.com/productResults.aspx?NttSR=1&ss=1&ddlCategories=0&ntk=products&N=0&Ntt=magnesium%20powder. It really gets the bowels moving and you can adjust the dosage so you don’t have a full blown eruption. If she’s taking it nightly she will sleep better and wake with a bowel movement. You’ll just have to find the dosage that works…plus, magnesium is one of those things we just don’t get enough of.

    Hope that’s helpful,

    • ‘…If she’s taking it nightly she will sleep better and wake with a bowel movement…’

      Romy,

      Magic to my ears, I’ll give it a try too. Sleep and morning poop? Oh yes please! Thanks. ❤

      Denise

    • We don’t get enough magnesium. I take 400 mg. in the A.M. and then 400 mg. more at dinner. Works like a charm. And for my 91 year old mom I just give her the 400 mg. at lunch. Any more for her and it’s too much. Thanks Denise for all you do.

  • I don’t usually comment on blogs ( I have enjoyed all of your blogs here and at TRANSITIONS 💖 ) but I felt what you were saying about nursing homes as my parents were both in those very dense places at the same time which left me so drained and depressed whenever I went to visit them at their separate locations, driving from one side of the state to the other to visit and check up on the care they were receiving which was most times horrendous. I would go home feeling exhausted, achy, dirty ( like I had picked up every negative energy that were floating around in those horrible places ) guilt that I could not care for my parents at home which would have been impossible as my father had dementia with aggression that would take three people to hold him back from destroying everything in his path. My mother was severely ill and needed 24/7 care. Anyway, I feel for you and know what you have experienced on many levels. Wishing you and your mother the best and keeping you both in my heart ❤️ Thank you for being Denise and for all you do! There is so much I could comment about this blog but I think this has been a long comment so I will stop here. 😆

    • lynb333,

      I’m so glad you decided to Comment here now, Thank You as it sounds like you’ve been through it times 2. I cannot imagine… My Mom does have dementia, it was “mild dementia” before the stroke but it’s much worse now. No physical violence thank god but other crap occasionally that’s just as bad in my opinion.

      When we pick up or get Astral level type stuff on us (lower energies, consciousness, emotions etc.), to sensitive folks it does feel like a heavy layer of crap that’s sometimes even sticky. I can’t get into the shower fast enough to physically and energetically wash it all off of me. Same with the clothes I was wearing while accumulating all that lower “unseen” negativity and unpleasant mess; I can’t get them into the washing machine fast enough to get those vibes gone too. My Pisces ASC and opposite sign Virgo stuff is showing! Most people only have to brush their teeth each day — sensitives have to “brush” their energy fields, home and personal objects etc. every day. 😉

      Thanks again lynb333 and it’ll be great to see more Comments from you whenever you feel so inclined. ❤

      Denise

  • Thank you Denise for this post which resonated a lot with me! Especially about the privacy verses public situations. And I guess I am ok now, with age helping, to be seen as weird and sometimes I make a good connection. And more often, like you said, I’m mirroring what everyone else is feeling who is caught in the web, people, who “have to make a living”, etc. everyone is feeling some level of the absurdity at this point. And btw, I would just like to say, that the only thing that keeps me functional as a stay at home mom, is that I was lucky to carve out a bit of space by the ocean, (thank you guardian helpers!!) where I can turn my back (and just work from the back chakras!), on the grid and look out upon water/space, where the grid meets the sea in southern California. This has been the great burden for me of the past 20 years. Choosing to leave a blessed rural area for my husband’s job in southern cal. Whoa! I did not know how the energies would be so intense here and the vibes of people’s desperation and just the earth’s energies in pain with the overlaying grid/cement on top of it. Your blog has helped me a lot. I send as much good vibes as I can into the so-cal atmosphere, and I feel things are lightening up. We’ve processed so much. Happy 2015! Blessings to you Denise

    • Very funny, but so-cal is the place I’ve been led, and I am very much not from there. I have lived my entire life in the midwest and done the blessed rural life. It is truly where I feel home. I’ve been thinking that maybe so-cal might be in need of some higher vibes. 😉 I don’t mean that in an arrogant way. Just thinking it could be.

  • After laughing for a good while, I actually pondered on how a “finger up the butt” could confirm such a diagnosis …….as a first step. Benefit of the doubt and that sort of thing. Jeez Louise.

  • Well, I am not buying into the insurance thing for the second year. I don’t use them, won’t use them, I am not paying them to not use them – penalty or not. Your stories are emblematic of how out of touch our health system and their’ “gods” are…..yes, its wretched. Anyway, hoping you have a better time in 2015. Keep your sense of humor, and don’t kill anyone this year! Best of good fortune. Sending you compassionate love….

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